Home' Aurora : Aurora November 2014 Contents 9
www.mn.catholic.org.au Catholic Diocese of Maitland-Newcastle
Ever yone deals with the loss of a
loved one differently and there
isn't a right or wrong way to
express grief. Worr ying about
your Mum seems like a ver y
natural reaction, especially
because she is experiencing such sadness.
There are many factors which influence
how we cope with grief, including gender,
age, culture, religious and philosophical
beliefs , per sonality, physical and emotional
health as well a s the nature of our
relationship with the per son who has died.
Even though your family was aware your
Dad's death was close, your Mum's loss
is an experience differ ent from the loss
of other family member s. Your Dad was
her life par tner so their relationship had
a different meaning from the relationship
your Dad may have had with you as
My advice on how to suppor t your Mum
may change according to her state of
health. If Mum has an existing mental
health issue, or even if she does not, and
you have serious concerns for her welfare,
I would strongly r ecommend making an
appointment with her GP to discuss these
concer ns and develop a suppor t plan.
However, medical or counselling support
is not usually the immediate response
needed, even if your Mum's behaviour
seems different or unusual. Having
suppor tive family members around who
understand that life has dramatically
changed for your Mum will help her move
towards healing. There is no need or
urgency for your Mum to "move on" and
there is no given time fr ame within which
you can expect her to star t feeling a little
more positively about life.
Without knowing your Mum's physical and
mental health history, you are describing
"nor mal" responses to grief. Even talking to
your Dad is not something I would wor ry
too much about in these early weeks as
this may bring your Mum some comfor t.
Over time, you may see this behaviour
diminish. Even if you don't, her r eaction
would still be considered "nor mal" as long
a s you notice your Mum slowly regaining
some of her previous energy and interest
in life. It makes sense that she would try
to find ways to feel connected to your
Dad and there may be other creative
ways of doing this in which family could be
involved. Be led by your Mum and keep
communication open. Talk to her about
how she is feeling, talk about your Dad,
his life and also his death.
I recommend the book Coping With
Grief by Mal McKissock and Dianne
McKissock. This will give you some
helpful advice including ways to cope
in the future as there will be bir thdays,
anniver saries and other special events in
which your Dad's physical absence will
be par ticularly acute.
CatholicCare's Counselling Team
Leader, registered psychologist
Tanya Russell, will address an
issue each month.
The advice provided is general
in nature and does not replace
ongoing support and advice
from your health professional.
To talk to someone about
counselling support, P 4979 1172.
Email your question to aurora@
mn.catholic.org.au or write to
Aurora-CareTalk PO Box 756
My Dad died earlier this month and although we knew the time was near, Dad's death has
affected Mum deeply. Although it has only been a few weeks since Dad's passing away, I am
concerned about Mum and I do not know if I need to seek further support for her. She talks to
Dad as if he is still here, she won't let anyone sit in his favourite chair and she doesn't seem to
care about much, not even the grandchildren. We also need to remind Mum to eat and shower.
In general, she barely seems to be living herself.
TO LOVED ONES
Australian Catholic Superannuation -- offices in Brisbane, Canberra, Perth, Port Macquarie, Sydney, Townsville
t 1300 658 776
SCS Super Pty Limited, ABN 74 064 712 607, AFSL 230544, RSE L0002264 Trustee of Australian Catholic Superannuation & Retirement Fund, ABN 24 680 629 023, RSE R1055436. This document is not intended to be financial advice, therefore, you should consider obtaining independent financial
advice before making any decisions about your benefits in the fund. Refer to the Product Disclosure Statement and fact sheets available on our website. The Australian Catholic Superannuation financial planning service is offered through an arrangement with Industry Fund Services Limited (AFSL 232514)
Nev and Carole saved $000s
with financial planning advice.
After meeting with a financial planner at Australian Catholic Superannuation they sold their
investment property and made tax-efficient changes to the way they invested into super.
Tailored advice provided them substantial financial benefits and peace of mind.
To make an appointment to meet with a financial planner to discuss your
circumstances and objectives just call us on 1300 658 776.
Visit catholicsuper.com.au/nev or call us on 1300 658 776
Links Archive Aurora October 2014 Aurora December 2014 Navigation Previous Page Next Page